Thursday, 10 April 2014

Which Kind Of Party Girl Are You?

Came across this while reading Move, Nourish, Believe by Lorna Jane. Thought I'd share.

I am definitely a "Chilled Out Chick". Does that make me boring? *gentlystrokeschin

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Sex = Oxygen?

"The biggest lie in the world is I'll be satisfied if I just have a little more."

Okay, I am not here to condemn anyone, I am just want to air the questions in my head when it comes to this topic.

I have a question: Why do we act like we cannot do without sex? We need oxygen to breath, when did sex become equivalent, when did it become essential to our existence? Apart from pleasure, intimacy and procreation, what else does sex provide (and don't get all scientific-research-has-shown on me, most of the benefits of sex can also be provided by exercise)? We don't need it to survive so why are we losing brain cells over it? Is it really just a physical act? A physical act that can actually produce a life. #ishouldhavesaidihadquestions

I hear all the time that women who choose to wait will die alone because in this century no body waits anymore, this is going with the assumption that women are the ones that always choose to wait. Is that a good thing? Is lacking self control or devaluing yourself something to be proud of? Is being easy a good thing? Is compromising on beliefs or throwing away your personal beliefs to please your partner a good thing? Is it okay because it is between two mature people? 

And what's so wrong with waiting? Why do people treat the idea like a communicable disease? Does waiting guarantee a perfect relationship? No! Does not waiting guarantee a lasting relationship? No! And yes!, nothing in life is guaranteed, so does that mean we should throw everything out the window? It's always funny when people announce how long they have stayed without sex, I don't know what they expect us to say, congrats? Should this even matter?

Just a thought: Don't wait because some guy with a big Bible told you to or your parents say it is ideal. Take time to find out why it is ideal, or to even understand what sex is, that way you can make up your own mind and set your priorities. #getinformed #getunderstanding

People talk about sexual compatibility all the time, I think if you want to have sex with your boyfriend, just say you want to have sex with your boyfriend, scratch the compatibility excuse. The people who waited or had sex after marriage and are 'surprisingly' compatible don't have two heads or special devices attached to their bodies. Nobody was born with the perfect moves, they've all had to learn. So what's so wrong with discovering your partner in marriage? You have a whole life time to do that. Why does the sex have to be perfect immediately you get married? I read a story once, the man claims to have married his best friend. They waited till marriage to have sex and he was disappointed on the night, because his wife didn't enjoy kissing and being intimate at all so she denies him everytime but everything else is perfect. He said he would have loved to know that before he got married to her. From the tone of the note, he sounded like if he knew he wouldn't have married her. This might be something that can be fixed, and if he cared enough he would want to know why she feels that way and help her through it. Who knows it could have been caused by a traumatic event. 

Would you just throw away everything because the sex is bad? One of my friends got married said this to me a while ago, " Debbie, sex is not as easy as Sandra Bullock makes it seem in movies. We've had to learn." 

Why would you want to be with someone who is impatient with sex, anyways? If you're worried that he or she will look somewhere else if you decide to wait, shouldn't you be worried about who you're dating? Why would you want to date someone who doesn't respect or believe in your choices? Who said you have to manage a relationship, isn't that some sort of slavery?

I was reading the comments on a blog on the topic of Mariah waiting till marriage to Nick Cannon to sleep with him and some were saying that she had been married before so it doesn't count. I don't even know what that means. I mean, I applaud her because someone once told me "Once that door is opened, it could be very difficult to close." I know they didn't date for long but most people would have died, so kudos to her. One comment said, (paraphrasing) It is impossible to marry a virgin these days. I get his point, but maybe "impossible" should be replaced with "rare". Another one said (again paraphrasing), I don't understand why it is a big deal when you're not a virgin? I didn't know there was a law about that. I don't get it though, I mean, can't I decide whether to have sex or not regardless of my purity status?

FYI, I don't think it is wise to have sex with every Dick, Tom, Harry, Mary, Kate, and Sally you date just because you're not a virgin. Who died and said you cannot have a mind of your own? 

Final thought: We have deified sex and in the process belittled or eliminated the strength within us. 
"You say you're not a slave but here is something to chew, you ever wonder why pictures of naked girls have so much power over you?"

Monday, 31 March 2014


"You are not exactly free if you have to engage in any activity to please the masses. #peacefulslavery Have the guts to think for yourself. #chooseyourownchains"

Friday, 7 March 2014


PRESENT: Tuesday

Pere fell on the bed and buried her face in her pillow. Then she felt it again, she picked herself up and dashed to the bathroom. The toilet seat was still up. She thanked God as the puke gushed out of her. She leaned against the bowl, breathing slowly, wondering if she should go to the hospital or just call Mimi to come spend the night or a few days. But she doubted she could drive to the hospital, and Mimi! the last time she called was about a week ago. Her new boyfriend was really taking all of her time. She took a deep breath, this time contemplating crawling to her bed or just laying on the bathroom floor. She went with the latter. That was when she found her phone hiding behind the toilet bowl. Now she wondered how it got there, she had been searching for it all morning. She grabbed it and rubbed it clean on her boubou. 10 missed calls from her mother. Nothing from Mimi, not even a text. She sighed. Since turning 28, her mother only spoke about one thing; her future husband. She had to admit, she could make an effort to date but her business was still young so she barely had time, that's what she told everybody. Honestly, she knew she was just lazy. Most times she didn't think she wanted a family. Her phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. It was her mother. She decided to ignore it. She didn't want to discuss her future husband right now. She started crawling out of the bathroom, heading towards her bed, her phone tucked in between her breasts. She felt really faint and nauseated. She had not managed to keep any food down since the night before. She finally made it to her bed. Her phone rang again. She checked it, her mother. She picked on the fifth ring. Now she was comfortably lying down.
"Hello, mummy", she said scratching her head and hoping the call won't take forever.
"Pere!" her mother shouted. "Are you okay? Where have you been?"
"Mummy, I am fine, just tired. I am at home." She replied
"We were at Governor Benson's party last night, I was calling to tell you all about it and to check on you of course. It was a lovely party, you should have been there" her mother said
"I am glad it was."
Sensing the sarcasm, she continued "You should learn to appreciate gatherings like that, you don't know who you could meet, a business partner, contacts, a husband."
Pere laughed. She was going to have this conversation after all. Her mother wanted her to marry a public figure like herself. Her father spent years as a governor, torn between trying to please a bunch of people who will never appreciate his efforts, but will continue to elect him and sucking up to the godfathers of politics. He eventually made his way to the position of a vice president. She was truly happy for him, but she just wanted normal and quiet. 
"I hope you are not cancelling on dinner this Friday at the house. Your father was not happy when you didn't show up last week. Besides, we have a surprise for you."
"Please tell me it is not a surprise wedding", she joked.
Her mother laughed loudly. "No!" she answered. "I think I have found the one for you."
"Oh mummy, not again. Who is it this time? Another governor's son?"
"No! I admit, some of the men we have introduced to you haven’t been very mature. This man is a young senator. Such a handsome man and very mature. Your father is very impressed with him and his work. We got an opportunity to really talk to him last night at the party. He has a business background, you could learn a lot from him.”
"A young senator? Who?! Mummy, just tell me" said Pere impatiently. She knew she would give in.
"Okay! Her mother replied, very excited to give it away. "Senator Taye Robert" 
Pere didn't remember anything her mother said after that. The name played around in her head. Her stomach rumbled, she wanted to vomit but she doubted there was anything left to throw up. She couldn't cry. She longed for Mimi. 
"Lord, please tell me this is a very sick joke", she prayed holding her stomach so tight hoping she could choke the fetus to death.


Pere was hoping for a great day when she took a seat in her office that morning.  She was excited about opening her second supermarket, she hoped her mother will make it for the opening. She chose Paris the last time. Her splendid day was interrupted by the knock on her door. 
"Come in!" she yelled.
"It was about time she got a secretary", she thought to herself. 
The door opened and Senator Taye walked in. 
"Not again." she said dropping the pen she was holding. 
Taye smiled. "Always lovely to see you."
"Three consecutive days, what is it this time?" 
Senator Robert took a seat across her. His bodyguard stood by the door. He was a cute fellow, she wondered if this was the life he always wanted, guarding a man who loves himself more than anything in the world. 
"I want to take you to dinner." Taye said. "Just to apologize for all the trouble I have caused you especially the incident at the Entrepreneurship conference soiree." he continued
"You told everyone there I was your fiancee, is that supposed to make me feel good? You keep coming here, everyone is going to think it is true. Taye, you have girls at your beck and call, you don't have to force a relationship with me. And by the way, calling me your fiancee doesn't automatically make me your fiancee."
She watched him smile to himself. She wanted to slap him, but one look at his bodyguard and she knew she might lose her teeth before she even got to him. She wondered the kind of jobs he did for Taye, had he killed anyone yet? Oh! the secrets he must have heard. He could sell them to magazines, make millions and would no longer need to stand behind him.
"Everybody calls me Senator Robert, but you insist on calling me Taye." he said
"Taye is your name, isn't it?" she asked trying to study the paper in front of her. He smiled again. She knew him as Taye before he became a Senator, she had no idea why it bothered him now. She continued to try studying the paper.
"Look, I won't be here if I didn't care for you. I have met many girls because of my position, some even more beautiful than you, but I don't want them, I want you." Pere wondered if he truly cared, if he was the one. She thought about Paul her secret admirer when she worked at the bank, maybe she should have given him a chance, maybe she would be with him today then she wouldn't be here listening to this man tell her lies, again. Did she like the attention she got from him, she hoped not, maybe she did, she wasn't sure. What would happen if he went away? Would she miss him? She looked at him, there was a 10 year difference between them, he suddenly seemed like someone from another planet. Mimi thought he was worth a shot. She didn't, she didn't want her mother's life. She wasn't ready to be his trophy.
"Can we start again?." He continued. "I want to start all over, you know, be a gentleman. So can I take you to dinner, please? If you still hate me after this then I promise, I will walk away."
"Walk away now." she thought. "Why does he want to treat her to dinner?" She didn't believe him but part of her thought maybe this would definitely be the last time. She needed a second opinion, but she already knew what Mimi would say. 
"Okay fine." She found herself saying. She wanted him gone.  
Taye seemed elated. "But!" she continued. His smile turned to a frown. "You have to sign here," she produced  a white paper with the words "I PROMISE TO LEAVE PERE ALONE AFTER TONIGHT." 
"You want me to sign that." He eyed her. She had obviously insulted him.  "We were supposed to have dinner first before you made this decision."
"I am not going anywhere with you till you sign this. And I know one dinner date with you is not going to make me fall in love with you. So what is it going to be?" She handed him the pen she was holding.
Taye reluctantly took the pen and scribbled something on the paper. “You loved me once.”
"What restaurant?" She asked ignoring him.
"I will pick you up from here at 6pm."
"I finish work at 8pm."
"I will pick you at 8 then."
"I am capable of driving myself there."
"Pere! Please just allow me to do this." Taye said almost yelling. 
She got up and walked to door suddenly feeling bold but wondering if this could be the night she falls in love, again. She almost gagged at the thought. She hoped not. She opened it, and folded her hands. She didn't have to tell him what that meant, he had to leave.


Her heart was beating fast, she couldn't wait for this to be over. She was waiting outside her office. She wanted him to be late, she wanted a reason to hate him just a bit more. A jeep pulled up in front of her. He jumped out from the driver's seat and walked towards her. He drove himself, she couldn't believe it. He could use his hands and feet and he was on time. She grieved within herself, praying the night won't go well. Dinner was nice. The restaurant was one of the best in town, they had a quiet spot to themselves. She hated him more for trying to make the night perfect, so she just ate and totally ignored him. She didn't want to laugh at his jokes, or smile at him. The drive back home was quiet. He thanked her for accepting to have dinner with him even though he had to sign a contract. Then he started to air his feelings for her again, belittling her in between and comparing her to his mother saying why she should be lucky that he cared for her. He told her he would take good care of her and make her happy. She tried her hardest not to say anything. Then he said:
"A man of my calibre is not supposed to even beg you, but I am humbling myself because of how I feel. I wouldn't do this for anybody, not even my friends." She was about to open her mouth and yell at him but she felt dizzy, she leaned into the car seat.


Pere woke up with a bad headache. She sat up in the bed and buried her face in her palms. She felt a sudden rush and she jerked. It all came back. She took in her surroundings. She was wearing only his shirt, the shirt he wore to dinner and her briefs. She was in his house. He was not lying next to her. She tried to remember what happened. Her clothes and bag were neatly placed on the armchair next to the bed. She froze for a minute. She yelled his name a few times but there was no answer. "Did he send the maids away too?" she thought. “He must have maids.” She got up and undressed quickly. She would need to scrub herself clean. She didn't even want imagine the look he must have had on his face when he undressed her. She put her clothes on, grabbed her bag and started to find her way out of the house. In the taxi home, she started to cry, she couldn't remember anything. The driver got concerned at the sight of her tears but decided to stay out of it. Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her bag. It was a text from Taye.  She held her breath. It read, "HAD TO LEAVE EARLY FOR AN IMPROMPTU MEETING, THANK YOU FOR LAST NIGHT :-)" 
"Thank you?" she thought.

PRESENT: Friday evening
Pere was lying in bed about to fall asleep when the door bell rang.  She groaned loudly into her pillow. She knew it wasn't Mimi, because her mother was in town. 
"Who is it now?" she mumbled as got up to answer the door.
"Hello, sweetie." her mother said as soon as the door opened. "I came to take you to dinner, why aren't you ready?" She asked noticing the t-shirt and the wrapper around her waist.
"Mummy, do I have to be there? I am not feeling too well."
Her mother eyed her, "Pere, go and change, you are coming with me to that dinner even if I have to pull you by your hair."
"But, I have been sick all week and I still had to work with all the preparation for the new store. I just want to sleep. I will come for breakfast tomorrow morning, I promise."
"Why not pack a weekend bag and come to the house? I can take care of you there. And don't think I don't know that you are trying to avoid seeing your surprise guest. By the way, you have to act surprised when you see him, I don't want your dad to know I told you."
Pere laughed to herself, she was pretty sure her dad knew who he married. Her mother had now taken a seat.
"Pere! I have all night to wait for you. If I go without you, your father will kill me, so I really don’t mind moving in.”
Pere dragged herself to her room to change. She grabbed an oversized shirt from a hanger and the jeans from the armchair, threw it on the bed and started to undress. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she was happy her bump wasn't showing yet. She took a deep breath, wondering what her parents would say if they found out. She cringed when she remembered Taye was the surprise guest. She imagined shoving his face into a pot of hot pepper soup, she hoped the chef made pepper soup, she liked his pepper soup.
"Pere!" her mother shouted from the sitting room. "I am still waiting and your father just called. Your guest will be there in 20 minutes. Hurry up."
Pere groaned. 
Her mother couldn't hide her disapproval when Pere joined her. 
"I see you like disgracing me. "
"What, ma?"
"What are you wearing?" she asked
"Clothes." Pere answered grabbing her mother's handbag and making her way to the door.
"Pere, you do realise your father is the vice president of this country, we are going to have a senator who could be your potential husband in our midst and you are wearing jeans and an oversized shirt.” She said eyeing her. “And flats!" She shouted noticing the shoes on her feet.
"Seriously, where did you come from?"
"Do you want me there or not?"


Pere took her wine glass of water and walked to the balcony. She was furious because her parents were falling for Taye's charm. The one she almost fell for when she first met him. They didn't know he was the devil. She was about to dial Mimi when Taye walked in.
"Are you leaving?" she asked.
"No." He laughed. "Your parents are delightful. It's really an honour to be here in the vice president's home."
"You do know you are talking to me not my parents. You don't have to act like an angel."
He laughed again. "I see, you still haven't let that night go. I have told you I didn't do anything to you. The only thing I am guilty of is undressing you. I already apologized for that, besides, I have seen them before.”
"Then, how did I end up pregnant?" She asked looking around for her parents. “And that was 10 years ago.”
"We have fought this for months, the police found nothing. You just sound crazy.”
"You think I don't know that you've probably paid everyone to keep quiet."
"Like you didn't pay the DPO to keep it from your dad. Why haven't you told him anyways?"
She was about to speak but she stopped. "Why haven't I told him?" she thought. She started to walk out, she could feel the tears coming, Taye stopped her. 
"You know I am still interested in us, there used to be an us and it was beautiful. I am ready to accept that child as mine. I am glad you are not getting rid of it, you will make a great mother."
Pere shook herself free, "What are you talking about? There was never an us, we only had sex, that should never have happened and that doesn’t constitute a relationship.”
“Why? Because I left for the States immediately after. I already apologised for that as well.”
“God! I could kill you.” She groaned
Taye smiled to himself.
Pere looked at him. She cringed at the thought that she loved him once, she let him take her innocence. She trusted him to be there for her. How could she be so stupid? “Taye, I need to go lie down. I am tired."
“Would it kill you to call me Senator?” He asked as he watched her walking away.
“Yes, Taye! It will.”
Her mother joined her as she walked to her room. "So are you spending the night? Your father has arranged for the doctor to be here in the morning." she said.
"Yes, ma." She replied wishing she would just go away so she could plan her escape before the doctor arrived in the morning.
"So you didn't tell me Senator Taye’s father owned the secondary school you went to?.”
“Didn’t think it was necessary.” Pere said opening the door. 
“Well, you should have said something and I don’t like the way you spoke to him at the table. However, I think he handled you pretty well, I think he might be the solution to your hot head." Her mother said joining her on the bed. 
Pere sighed. “I wasn’t trying to disrespect you and dad, I’m sorry.” She said hoping that would end the conversation for the night. But she noticed her mother staring at her, from the corner of her eye.
"Pere, I am slightly worried." She said.
"What? Why are you worried?"
"I am worried about you. I have been watching you all night." She took a deep breath. "Pere, are you pregnant?"
Pere was speechless. She had forgotten how observant her mother could be when she chose to. She wondered if she should tell her how it happened. She had hoped to travel out of the country just after the store opened. But she can’t hide a baby forever.
"Yes." She replied. 
"And do you know who the father is?” 
Pere nodded. 
“Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone?” Her mother asked. “We wouldn’t have been bothering you with potential suitors. Who is he?”
“Senator Taye” She said slowly, almost whispering. "Damn it!" She thought. "Now I have to marry the dude." She buried her face in her hands. Maybe she still loved him after all. Maybe that’s why she never took the case to her father. She was still in love with the man that broke her heart and might have raped her. She sobbed. She wasn’t proud of her choice. But how could she after all he had done?
“Who?” Her mother asked. 
 There was knock on the door. Taye opened it.
"I just wanted to say I was leaving." They both told him good-night.

Senator Taye smiled to himself as he walked to the sitting room to thank the vice president for a wonderful evening and said good-bye. He was getting into his car when his phone rang. 
"Hello." he said
"How did it go?"
"Great! My in-laws are lovely." 
"So it worked?"
"The seed has definitely been planted. Pere and the Governor’s seat are as good as mine.”

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

So the other day, I read a story in the paper about a lady who caught her husband in the act with his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, they had been at it during their three year relationship. 

He paid for his ex-girlfriend to join them at their honeymoon. Yes! it was that serious. She found out when she woke up in the middle of the night and didn’t find the love of her life lying next to her.  She went out and inquired, she was told her husband was seen going into another room, she went to see for herself and behold the surprise.

When I first read the story, I thought “this has to be fiction.” A guy with brains cannot actually do that, pay for his ex-girlfriend to come to his honeymoon but then we live in a world where we now take pride in being stupid, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. The balls on the guy though. If I was in her shoes, I would consider castrating him not because he cheated but because he had to bring her to the honeymoon but I am going to take my own advice and do the right thing, so I would just walk away.  I mean, is his ex-girlfriend so important to him that he had to have her even during his honeymoon, why didn’t he just marry her? Why the hell did he even break up with her, in the first place? I don’t get some guys sometimes. Isn’t it exhausting handling two girls at once? Life is exhausting enough, why add that to your plate? 

Anyways, It got me thinking, will all men cheat? Should I go into a relationship expecting the guy to cheat? Is it something we now have to tolerate? I hear women say “all men cheat” a lot but I would like to think some men have all the nuts in both their heads screwed on, well maybe, the one down there has a mind of its own, not sure.

My opinion - I believe every human being is a potential cheat given the right circumstances.

Cheating is mostly blamed on emotional disconnection, lack of communication and many other reasons but in these days where we are slowing losing brain cells, I think it is more of a lifestyle. Why punish your husband or your wife by cheating on them when you could just stay on your own and roll around with anybody of your choice? 

This is what I think, men cheat because they can. Beside most women believe they will, so they just tolerate it.When you keep calling a man, a dog, don’t expect him to start behaving like a human being, you’re asking for too much. I don’t think anyone loves knowing that their whatever is loving someone else on the side, well except you’re running your own package, but somehow we are willing to accept the torture. Maybe we are just numb now.

 Another reason, it is a manly thing to do. Most men feel empowered when they can manipulate more than one woman and pull it off. Besides, when their friends ask, if they have been unfaithful, they expect a “yes”, because apparently “no” is way too strange, now why would they want to disappoint?

Friday, 7 February 2014

Why Stop?

It happened sometime ago. I was running, running so fast. I can remembered sweat trickling down my face. I had been running for so long. I was so tired but I knew where I was going. I did not want to stop. But then it happened, the wind started blowing. It felt so good. I could run forever. It blew the sweat away, the pain, the thought that this race was difficult. I had a reason to keep going. In the midst of all the excitement, I fell. An opportunity to sit and enjoy this wind, beautiful wind I thought to myself. But it only blew for a while. What happened I wondered. I cried, I started to feel the pain, my feet were hurting.

Then, I saw one of my runmates limping. You could see it hurt but he did not stop. Then I thought about where I was going. I wanted to cross that finish line and start living on the other side. Then I got up and started walking, with time I got enough strength to run. I felt the wind again. I smiled because I had just learnt the only way to feel that flushing wind is to keep matter what.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Why Can't People Mind Their Own Business?

"The torture that is other people's opinions."

Why can't people just mind their own business? Why can't people just leave people alone? The internet is filled with people bashing one another, telling others how they should and shouldn't behave, eat, relate,sleep, think etc. Everyone has suddenly become an expert on other people's lives. We all have opinions about everything. But why do the lives of other people affect us so much? In the words of my little sister, it is because it is easier to mind other people's business. So why is it hard to just focus on ourselves? Again in the words of my lovely sister;
" Because it requires undertaking an open heart surgery without any anaesthetic. It is in the same vein that people want others to change but they don't want to change themselves but ironically when they change postively or negatively without their permission it instinctively leads to an introspective look on their lives and sometimes the only way to deal with the inconsistencies or block out the things that are yet to change from their minds is to talk about the change that occured in others."

Preach! Lol!

Well, I am sure people get into people's business for a variety of reasons including: feeling better about themselves, jealousy, insecurity, boredom, encouragement, to give advice, etc but where do we draw the line because some people are just hateful. I know some people put their lives out there and as much as I want to say they are asking for it, they deserve personal space. Anyways, I just think if you are entitled to mistakes and the freedom to exist as an individual then everybody else is. And apart from that, I am sure you have something better to do with your time. If you are that bold to get into people's business, you should be bold enough to face yours. 

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Like A Rose

A rose so exquiste and perfectly odoriferous
An efflorescence of spikes that could pink feeble fingers
An author of gaiety and communication of devotion
A fount of intense ache for others
Just like a rose, life is pleasant but spotted with sadness
Sand does not square water, no one is the same
Some relish neglecting that auditions will arrive
Others omit 'there is light at the end of the tunnel'
Just as a gash would heal, it is just duration
It would leave a blemish, it tells you
You are mortal, no one said it would be effortless
Supernatural brawn and aim could do the work 

Monday, 26 August 2013


I love this piece so much. I cannot count the number of times I have listened to it. It's word on so many levels. It really spoke and still speaks to me anytime I listen to it.

A few of my favourite lines are:
- You say you are not a slave but here is something to chew, you ever wonder why pictures of naked girls have so much power over you.

- Why is that every time we buy into an idol we are the ones that get devoured?

- We run to the same filth though it hurt us yesterday and say please satisfy me today.

- An idol is dead, it doesn't live, an idol takes it never gives.

- An idol is something you look at and say if I have that then I will have meaning.

Rejection Happens: Deal with it

"A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise."

Okay! came across a story a few days ago. Some crazy lady poured hot oil on her boyfriend because he refused to marry her. WHAT?!! She could have slapped him, spat on him, or just left but she took the time to prepare hot oil. Very determined to get her pound of flesh. And there are so many stories like this. I read them and just think people have so much time on their hands.

 Anyways, kinda reminds me of men who start insulting, intimidating you or even spreading lies about you all because you said no.

If you cannot deal with rejection this is for you, you really shouldn't be in the dating/relationship/marriage business.  Men, women were not born to massage your ego. It is your ego, massage it yourself. And by the way, ruining her face, raping her or beating her only makes you look stupid and psychotic. You might have done it to make yourself feel better about the situation, well that doesn't justify your madness. 

And ladies, just walk away. No need to commit manslaughter or murder and spend the rest of your life in jail all because you are trying to teach some knucklehead a lesson. 

And if the excuse for your craziness is anger, well sorry but that's not an excuse. When you were stewing that elaborate idea in your head, you should have stopped yourself, you do have self control, you know. If you didn't know, well now you do, you're welcome.

People get rejected all the time. Not just in relationships but in all phases of life. It sucks but it happens. Now that's a fact we need to learn to live with. 


Monday, 5 August 2013

Love is Blind?

Is love really blind? Maybe, yes and no depending on the context

First, it is essential to establish that love has clarity and it is honest. It is not just emotions, passion or hormones. At least, that's what I like to believe.
 - because love knows its object of affection is flawed therefore it can look past things like social class, ethnic group, fame, fortune, race, poverty (not too sure about this) or quirks of a person's personality, things like snoring, nose picking, squeezing toothpaste from the middle instead of the bottom ( I heard a couple actually sought a divorce because of this, crazy huh!) etc.
if it is just passion or that emotion tugging away at you, this traits might start to annoy you but then someone said "passion is usually the first step in the journey of love".

But then,
 - because we are not blind we are just using the term as a numbing effect to  avoid the real challenge of love. The strength of love is in how you withstand those challenges. Let me explain.
I was watching a talk show and some girl was claiming love as her reason for staying in an abusive relationship. She was basically encouraging his bad habit and blaming it on love. I wondered if she loved herself at all or if she was so afraid of being alone that she chose pain. If she loved him, she won't continue to help his behaviour by being his punching bag, that just stops him from dealing with the issue.

"Love doesn't rejoice in wrong doing."

So like I said, love is not just about emotions, or hormones so before saying you were blinded by love, ask your self was it really love because love is not something you have at the beginning and hope it doesn't fade away, it takes time and commitment to grow.

Sunday, 7 July 2013

"You Can't Win"

Came across this a while back. Thought I'd share. I cannot remember where I found it but I think it pretty explains how tiring society can be sometimes. 

society: Everyone's beautiful. 
society: Don't eat though, you don't want to get fat. 
society: You don't eat? Anorexic freak! 
society: You're a size 4? You're supposed to be a size 0! 
society: You're an A cup? What are you, 8? 
society: You're a C cup? That's my mums size. 
society: You had sex?! Slut! 
society: You haven't had sex? Hah, you're frigid! 
society: You don't think you're pretty?Attention seeker! 
society: You think you're pretty? Conceited much? 
society: You believe in gay rights? Homo! 
society: You don't believe in gay rights Homophobic dickhead! 
society: You're depressed? Attention seeker! 
society: You cut yourself? Still attention seeking! 
society: You can't go on? How much attention do you want?! 
When someone kills them-selve
society: Oh, they were so beautiful!
You can't win but the truth is you don't need society's permission to be yourself. Like someone (can't remember who) said, being yourself is less expensive.
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